So, You’re Engaged

Congratulations! This is a precious and joyful time of life that you will always cherish and look back on with fondness. While there are many moments of romance and fun, where you’re making googly-eyes at each other and soaking in the excitement of what you’re building together, the whirlwind of change, shared responsibility, expectations, and the reality of what’s to come can be the source of stress and tension as you figure out how to smooth some edges and fit together in a new, joint life. 

We’ve put together a list of 10 key tips that will help you grow together, maximizing pleasant moments and minimizing stressful ones. But before we get into that, we’ll lay the groundwork by sharing the most important truth: communication is key! This is a period of having all kinds of conversations – they may be challenging, uncomfortable, or just plain not sexy. Throughout it all, it’s important to be open and honest with each other – share everything from your desires and dreams to your expectations and fears. Effective communication builds trust and strengthens your relationship. And as you go, communicate about how you want to communicate! Discuss how you’ll communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and express needs and concerns in a respectful manner. As time goes on and your relationship deepens and progresses, you will find ample practical opportunities to live out what you discuss, and in the process, you will learn to understand each other’s communication styles, preferences, and tendencies. 

Now that we’ve oriented our starting position, let’s get into it!

  1. Invest in Your Relationship

Prioritize your relationship by investing time and effort into maintaining a strong connection. Talking and deepening your understanding of each other is an excellent practice to stay regular with, but you can also enhance your connection by participating in marriage enriching programs, including courses, events, retreats, and seminars, as well as couples’ therapy to explore your relationship dynamics, identify potential areas of conflict, and learn effective communication and problem-solving skills.

Consider this your official warning against getting so swept up in wedding planning that it becomes the meat and potatoes of your conversations! It’s crucial that you make time for quality time. Schedule regular date nights and activities that you both enjoy to keep the romance alive. Keep nurturing your emotional connection by expressing appreciation, showing affection, and actively listening to each other. Small gestures of love and support go a long way in maintaining a strong bond.

  1. Compromise

Remember that you’re a team now, and compromises are part of any healthy relationship. Be willing to meet halfway and find solutions that work for both of you. Recognize that you will need to leave some of your preferences behind for the sake of your partner, and they will do the same for you. At the same time, identify hard lines and communicate boundaries so you both have the opportunity to feel heard and acknowledged and that there is enough space between you for both of you. By merging your lives, you’re creating a new living system, and it’s up to the both of you to develop it with kindness and empathy for each other and your habits – and compromise is a great lubricant in this process!

  1. Understand Each Other’s Cultural and Social Backgrounds

Explore each other’s cultural backgrounds, traditions, and values. Discuss how you’ll integrate or celebrate cultural differences within your relationship and future family life. If you come from different backgrounds, identify the traditions that you both would like to carry forward, and how they can fit together. Talk about each other’s cultural norms and expectations to avoid any misunderstandings or missteps that come from a lack of knowledge in this arena. A huge benefit to this discussion is that you will feel closer to each other and gain more colour about how you both came to be the people that you are. Who wouldn’t want to add a new layer to how they love their partner?!

  1. Deep-Dive into Your Worldviews and Religious and Spiritual Beliefs

We all have a set of values and beliefs that help shape our worldview. Don’t take for granted that you’re going to be on the same page with these. Share your beliefs, values, and expectations regarding religion and spirituality. Is faith important to one or both of you? Discuss how you’ll incorporate these aspects into your relationship, family life, and potential future family traditions.

  1. Discuss and Set Your Goals and Plans Together

A beautiful part of joining your lives is the opportunity to support each other in achieving your goals. Here’s a helpful rule to live by: make your plans and keep a loose grip.

As you discuss your future, plan your key areas of growth together. This will help you align your visions and work towards common objectives. Remember that your wedding day is not the finale; it’s the premiere. Share your ideas about your long-term goals and aspirations as a couple. Here are a couple of key areas to consider:

Family Planning: Have a conversation about your views on starting a family, including the desired number of children, timing, parenting styles, and any fertility concerns. It’s important to be aligned on such a significant life decision before tying the knot.

Financial Planning: Start discussing your finances early on. Create a budget together, talk about spending habits and priorities, savings, investments, and any debts you may have. It may be helpful to create a realistic household budget that reflects your combined income and expenses. Don’t forget to factor in new expenses that may arise after marriage, like rent or mortgage payments, utilities, groceries, and insurance premiums. It’s crucial to be on the same page financially to avoid conflicts down the road. Decide on the logistics of handling the finances once you’re married. Will you merge all your accounts, keep them separate, or use a combination of both? Will one person be the CFO, or will your management be divided among the both of you? If divided, what does that look like? No question is too granular – ask and answer as many as you can, with the understanding that things will continue to evolve once married life begins.

  1. Establish Boundaries with Families

Have conversations about setting clear boundaries (and how you plan to do so) with both sets of families regarding regular visits, holidays, traditions, and other expectations. Discuss how you plan to handle if family members struggle to respect these boundaries. Share your ideas about your priorities when it comes to each other versus familial obligations. Uncovering your understanding and expectations about these things can help prevent conflicts and ensure that you and your partner are (or get) on the same page.

  1. Discuss Roles and Responsibilities

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming, so don’t hesitate to delegate tasks to each other or even enlist the help of family and friends. It’s important to work together as a team to create your special day. 

Beyond the wedding day, talk about how you’ll divide household chores, decision-making, career responsibilities, and other roles once you’re married. Establishing clear boundaries (there it is again) and sharing responsibilities can prevent misunderstandings and resentment later on.

  1. Discuss Career and Education

You may be tempted to think that each of your careers are going to remain a personal pursuit, but everything person becomes shared to the extent that you become shared. Take the time to talk about your career aspirations and details of your work; how stable is your job? How do you intent to handle if someone loses their job unexpectedly? Do you anticipate needing to relocate at some point? Would you be willing to do so? How about furthering your education? You get the gist! Leave no stone unturned when it comes to how your careers can impact your future together.

  1. Discuss Intimacy and Romance

Talk about your expectations and preferences regarding physical intimacy, emotional connection, and romance within the relationship. Discuss how you’ll nurture your connection and keep the spark alive over time. It is important to acknowledge that the passion at the start of any relationship eventually wanes to give way to the stronger, deeper, and more stable bond of companionate love. That, however, doesn’t mean the romance is dead or the love has gone stale; it does mean, though, that you have to work together to intentionally inject moments of romance into your relationship. Take the time to talk about what this means to both of you and how you plan to communicate about it when you’re feeling a lack of romance and would like to spruce things up in order to avoid hard feelings and the development of resentment.

  1. Discuss Health and Wellness

Share information about your health history, lifestyle habits, and wellness goals. Discuss how you’ll support each other’s physical and mental well-being, including exercise routines, healthy eating habits, and managing stress. Everyone has different wellness routines, so discussing this dimension will help you identify points of overlap and shared interests, as well as key differences. You can use these opportunities to talk about how you can support each other in your areas of difference to encourage each other to maintain the health habits that make you feel good, strong, and most like yourselves.

We want to highlight the most important paradigm shift as you more into marriage: getting married means that your life is no longer about you; it’s about your partner and your future family. Your main responsibility now is to live for your partner, as theirs is to live for you. This means that you must work on trusting them to fulfil your needs, and so you don’t need to worry about making sure your needs are fulfilled – your concern now is fulfilling theirs! Navigate this with discernment; if you feel that your needs aren’t being met, communicate that with love and respect. But if you both commit to living for each other, eyes always on the other, concerned with increasing their joy and being the source of their satisfaction, you’re sure to live a life of deep contentment and ever-growing love.

From all of us at Elpizo, congratulations again! We wish you nothing but love in your journey together to marriage.

Writen by Olivia Botros, Registered Psychotherapist (Q)

Valentine’s Day: A Celebration of Self-Love

Valentine’s Day is often seen as a day to celebrate romantic love, but it’s also a wonderful opportunity to reflect on all forms of love, especially the love we show ourselves. 

Whether you follow a faith or not, self-love is a universal truth, an essential foundation for living a healthy, fulfilling life. It’s the kind of love that accepts us for who we are, without judgment or the need for approval from others. This type of love is unconditional, the purest form, it is boundless and places no limits on affection. The highest form of self-love, which means we accept our flaws, forgive our mistakes, and recognize our worth, just as we are.

For those with faith, teachings like “Love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39) remind us that self-love is not selfish, it’s necessary. We cannot truly love and care for others if we don’t first take care of ourselves. This concept is central to many religious teachings and reflects a deep understanding of our inherent value. If we are called to love our neighbors, the foundation of that love starts with loving ourselves and seeing our worth through God’s eyes. It’s understanding that God created us wonderfully and purposefully, and we deserve love not based on perfection, but because we are His children.

And for those who may not be religious, the same principle applies, how we care for ourselves influences how we interact with the world around us. As the saying goes, “you cannot pour from an empty cup”.

Life can be challenging. We all make mistakes, have moments of doubt, and face misunderstandings with others. But self-love means accepting ourselves even when we fall short, letting go of guilt, and choosing to forgive ourselves. It’s about recognizing that everyone, no matter their background or belief system, deserves love, without conditions or judgment. We are all worthy of respect, compassion, and care. 

One of the simplest ways to practice self-love is through self-care. Taking the time to nurture our bodies, minds, and spirits; whether through meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, exercise, or creative expression helps us create a sense of balance and inner peace. When we make self-care a priority, it becomes easier to show love and kindness to others. It sets the foundation for healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

Unconditional love is one of the most powerful forces we have. Whether you view love through a religious lens or a more spiritual or philosophical perspective, it remains a resource that is unlimited and always available to us. The act of loving ourselves fuels our ability to choose love in every moment. When we choose love over fear, anger, or doubt, we open ourselves up to more happiness, peace, and connection. This allows us to live in a world where kindness, compassion, and fulfilment are within everyone’s reach.

As Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wisely said, “If we make our goal to live a life of compassion and unconditional love, then the world will indeed become a garden where all kinds of flowers can bloom and grow.”

Here are some thoughtful, simple and fulfilling activities you can do to show yourself love this Valentine’s Day (or any day):

1. Self-Care Rituals

  • Pamper Yourself: Treat yourself to a relaxing bath, grooming session, or massage. Pampering your body is a great way to nurture yourself and show appreciation for who you are.
  • Nourish Your Body: Cook a nutritious meal or indulge in your favorite comfort food. Eating mindfully and savoring the moment is a wonderful way to show love to your body.

2. Engage in a Creative Activity

Spend time doing something you love; whether it’s painting, writing, cooking, or playing an instrument. Creative expression helps you connect with your true self.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Take a few moments to meditate, breathe deeply, or reflect on your journey. Mindfulness reduces stress and helps you appreciate the present.

4. Treat Yourself to a Solo Adventure

Go on a solo date or take a short trip. Whether it’s a movie, museum visit, or scenic walk, solo experiences help you reconnect with yourself.

5. Reconnect with Nature

Spend time outdoors, whether it’s a walk in the park or a hike in the woods. Nature has a way of grounding you and providing clarity for your mind and spirit.

6. Practice Gratitude

  • Create a Gratitude Journal: Write down things you’re grateful for, whether they’re small or big. Reflecting on the positive aspects of your life can uplift your spirit and help you appreciate where you are right now.
  • Thank Yourself: Take a moment to thank yourself for the challenges you’ve overcome, the growth you’ve experienced, and the strength you have. You are worthy of recognition.

This Valentine’s Day, whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, take a moment to appreciate and nurture the most important relationship in your life, the one you have with yourself. By embracing unconditional love and practicing self-care, you create a foundation for happiness, growth, and peace.

Written by Michelle Fonseca and Ruth Baah-Gyebi, Registered Psychotherapists

Finding Inspiration: What Keeps You Moving?

Finding Inspiration: What Keeps You Moving?

New year’s, give us opportunities to reflect and reset. Life is a journey filled with peaks and valleys, triumphs and challenges. At times, it’s easy to feel stuck, unsure of how to push forward. In line with Elpizo’s quest this year to use singular words to help us stay focused on this year’s resolution, our word for today is Resilience.

In valley moments, we often look to stories of resilience and triumph to remind us of the power of determination and hope. One such story is that of Jason Arday, whose remarkable journey inspires us to reflect on our own paths and the barriers we seek to overcome.

Jason Arday’s Remarkable Story

Jason Arday, a 37-year-old British Ghanaian, made history in March 2023 as the youngest Black professor at the University of Cambridge, one of the world’s most prestigious institutions. While his achievement is impressive on its own, the path that led him there is nothing short of extraordinary.

As a child, Jason was diagnosed with autism and global developmental delay. He could not speak until he was 11 years old and couldn’t read or write until the age of 18. Despite these challenges, Jason’s perseverance and dedication propelled him to shatter barriers. Today, he is not only a professor but also a passionate advocate for mental health, neurodiversity, and improving representation for minority groups in higher education.

Jason’s life is a testament to hard work, resilience, and determination in the face of adversity. Let’s use his story to provoke us to reflect on the following questions: What is holding us back? What would we achieve if we pushed through the barriers in our own lives?

Reflecting on Your Own Journey

  • What is your motivator in life? What drives you to keep going, even when the road is difficult? Perhaps it’s the desire to create a better future for yourself and your loved ones, a healthier mental-wellbeing, or maybe it’s a passion for making a difference in the world.
  • What inspires you? Is it stories like Jason’s, friends and family members, moments of kindness, the progress you see in yourself over time, a higher power?
  • What keeps you going during the valleys in life? Do you rely on your support system, your faith, therapy, accountability partner, or your inner strength to navigate through tough times?
  • What stories motivate you to keep moving? Who or what reminds you that obstacles are temporary, and that growth is possible?

Breaking Through Your Barriers

Jason’s journey encourages us to look at our own roadblocks; whether they’re external challenges, internal fears, or self-imposed limitations. Ask yourself:

  • What is my biggest roadblock?
  • What mental filters might be distorting how I view my potential?
  • How can I embrace my authentic self, unencumbered by past experiences or doubts?

The answers to these questions can guide you toward breaking through your barriers and stepping into a life that aligns with your true potential.

A Call to Persevere

Jason Arday’s life reminds us that our circumstances do not define us. Instead, it is our response to those circumstances that shapes our story. Elpizo’s therapists are equipped to support you in this quest or any other goals you have for yourself this year, let Elpizo be your accountability partner.

So, as you reflect on Jason’s story, let it fuel your determination. Identify your motivators, lean on your inspirations, and push through the valleys knowing that progress, however small is still progress.

What is your roadblock? What is your motivator? Share your thoughts with us, and let’s encourage one another to persevere and embrace the authenticity of who we are, free from the barriers that life may have placed in our way.

Ruth Baah-Gyebi is the Co-Owner of Elpizo Counselling Services and a Registered Psychotherapist. 

ECC Group Blog: Key Takeaways From Our Session of Grief & Loss

Our Grief & Loss Sessions were sold out, but we wanted to provide a summary of the key takeaways for those who were not able to attend. We recognize why this is currently our most popular session right now with COVID-19, and it’s why we started our Community Connect program in the first place. The amount of grief and loss people are experiencing is definitely overwhelming, so we hope this blog can be a way for you to still gain valuable experience from our important sessions. 

This blog helps define grief and what it may look like for individuals during this pandemic, and provides some useful tips on how one can manage their grief or loss. Let’s get started!

The first thing to understand about grief is that it’s a response to loss. We often associate grief primarily to the loss of a loved one, however, it can be triggered by any loss of something that is meaningful to an individual, such as a relationship, a job, loss of health, loss of environment due to a move. This global pandemic has especially impacted individuals with unexpected losses that were meaningful to one’s life. It’s okay to still be grieving this type of loss. 

Grief is a highly individual experience and as such, the process and the ways to cope must also be individual. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, however, there are some helpful ways to deal with grief. Certain ways will resonate more with some than others. It’s about implementing those you feel will help you through the process. 

Here are six helpful tips on how to manage your grief and loss: 

  • Be kind to yourself and acknowledge your pain. There is no time limit on this but things do get better. 
  • Know that you are not alone. The people who care about you want to be there and help.  They may not know how. Tell them. 
  • Understand that many different and sometimes unexpected emotions will emerge during your grief journey. Accept these as they are a healthy part of the process. 
  • Continue to take care of yourself physically. A healthy body is better equipped to deal with emotional upset. 
  • Engage in spiritual activities and draw support from your faith.
  • Seek out ways to honour that which you are grieving.  For example, if you’ve lost a loved one, write them a love letter. If you’ve lost your job, write in a journal what you loved about it and what you hope for your next job. 

While this may not be the virtual session you were wanting to attend, we hope this blog can still provide you with some important insights and understandings on these difficult emotions that so many people are experiencing right now. This blog is a great starter point, and you can always book an individual session with one of our professionals to manage your grief and loss. We are still offering lots of dates for our Beyond the Blues and Stress Balance sessions, so be sure to register in advance to reserve your spot!

Valentine’s Day Tips for Couples & Singles

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, which means you may be feeling some pressure to make the day memorable or work on improving your relationship this month. If you are single, you may be feeling extra lonely without as much connection and interactions with the people you care about in your daily life. With this global pandemic, we know how much our individual and partner relationships may be struggling with these challenges. Trying to balance these feelings around the holiday dedicated to appreciating your relationship or yourself may be hard, but we have some tips we want to share to help aid the overwhelming feelings so you can focus on growing whether you are in a relationship or single! 

For The Singles

First, here are the five best things about being single right now: 

  1. Opportunity to know yourself, recognize your personal strengths and celebrate your independence.
  2. Time and freedom to accomplish the things in life you want without having to consider someone else’s schedule, hopes and dreams.  Use it wisely. 
  3. The positive outlook that you still have the opportunity to choose your mate. The world is your love oyster. 
  4. You can cultivate your friendships and build these to have life-long lasting power. 
  5. You learn to love yourself first and only then can you love someone else and receive their love effectively. 

February is a great time to learn about love languages, whether you are with someone or working on improving yourself! 

Do you ever think about how you show love and how you like to receive love? Most people show their love and affection for their partner in the same way they like to receive it as we make an inherent assumption that everybody wants to be shown love in the same way we do. In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman (2015) identified five key ways that people like to be shown love. Take this love languages quiz and ask your partner to do the same! You can share the quiz with your friends or family if you are currently single to feel more connected during the holiday Discuss your results so that each of you knows how best to show your love for the other!

And remember…hold on when you get love, and let go when you give it (Millan, Seligman, Cranley, McGee, Campbell, 2012). 

For The Couples

This pandemic has definitely changed the way quality time can be spent with a person. This Valentine’s Day is no different, but we have some tips that may help spark some inspiration and ease on how to connect with your partner and grow in your new situations! 

Here are some tips for relationships struggling with distance:

  • Plan a romantic phone call or video chat with your favourite dessert and drink nearby 
  • Share three things you love and appreciate about your significant other 
  • Talk about something you both would be excited to do once you reunite 
  • Share your favourite memory together 
  • Let them know you miss them, and that you can’t wait to see them when it’s safe to do so!

Here are some tips for relationships struggling with being in close proximity: 

  • Plan a relaxing alone time activity for your significant other to show your appreciation 
  • This could be a candlelit bath, grabbing them their favourite book and meal, or giving them time to wind down in the comfiest part of your living area 
  • You can find a way to get out of your space by spending time outside together on a walk, in the park or supporting any local spots that are open right now
  • Doing this small gesture of allowing them to relax and recharge with their favourite things is an excellent way to show you care and love them! 

Resolving Conflict

Do you fight with your partner to win? Or do you fight to seek understanding and resolve the issue?  

When someone is addressing a problem, it can be easy to hear the language they are using as a direct attack or criticism. In those moments, we often stop hearing what they are saying and jump into “defensive” mode whereby we’re formulating our response in our head and not listening. Our defensive mode can additionally lead to offensive responses all of which creates a negative communication cycle. Nobody feels heard or understood, leading to added frustration and no resolution.  

Effective conflict resolution begins with effective communication. We must listen to each other attentively, ensure we’ve understood correctly, and respond with honesty and kindness. Doing so will allow each other to be vulnerable in a safe environment where collaboration can occur to resolve the issue.

“Communication leads to understanding leads to collaboration.”  (L. B. Pearson). 

It can be easy to get caught up in the issues, anxieties and pressures of Valentine’s Day whether you are in a relationship or single. However, during this global pandemic, the most important test has demonstrated that showing love and care for your partner or yourself is what matters most! Prioritizing these relationships right now might seem daunting, but it’s more manageable than you think, and it can start with something as simple as these tips we’ve laid out! 

ECC Group Blog: The Value In Group Support Meetings

Every person can benefit from some form of support in their lives, but a lot of people lose out on the opportunity by not knowing the full potential and values that come along with taking that first step. 

At Elpizo Counselling Services, our Community Connect virtual programs are dedicated to providing accessible services that can bring comfort and ease to any person, and more importantly, add value to overall well being. Group support meetings are the perfect way to introduce a no strings attached method of seeking help and relief for tons of issues that are more common than you think! 

Here are 5 valuable reasons to consider trying one of our support groups:

  • Group atmosphere is laid back, comfortable and a no pressure commitment 
  • Connect, listen, and exchange with others who are experiencing the same struggles 
  • Free opportunity to test out counselling services and methods 
  • No anxiety or fear of sharing your struggles with people in your personal life 
  • Judgement free zone with realistic and manageable ways to incorporate support

Our support groups are relevant and applicable to all kinds of situations, homes and lives that have been negatively disrupted by COVID-19. The goal of these sessions is to provide guidance and support during these uncertain times and to demonstrate how harmless it is to seek and find the help you need. 

There is so much to gain from our Community Connect support groups than just these 5 reasons. Just know that whatever struggle you are going through matters, and that you aren’t alone. 
Take that first step in seeking support by checking out our Stress Balance and Beyond the Blues Community Connect sessions happening throughout February and March!

Podcast: Understanding Mental Health With Ruth Baah-Gyebi

Earlier this month our very own Ruth Bahh-Gyebi was welcomed onto the The Good Health Cafe podcast hosted by Nikita Boston-Fisher to talk about how COVID-19 has impacted mental health, how to offer support and what the therapy experience is like. 

The Good Health Cafe podcast’s goal is to give you tips on how to navigate the healthcare system and easily understand other matters of public health. As we know, the healthcare systems and public health can be pretty confusing with different terminology used and The Good Health Cafe podcast aims to bridge that gap.

In an interview before the podcast, Gyebi and Fisher discussed how to prioritize your mental health during the pandemic. Below are some fantastic tips that Gyebi gave to help your mental health this year, that you can try while stuck at home during the lockdown. 

  • Try new things – candle making, arts and crafts from the dollar store and podcasting are all things that I tried for the first time this year.
  • Take breaks – take a pause to go for a walk. If you have some vacation time, use it. Do what you can to give yourself a chance to rest and recharge.
  • Reconnect with old friends and make new ones – call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while to see how they are doing.

Gyebi also gave a couple of great tips you can try out for the current holiday season. One of those great tips is to gift a visit to a mental health professional to yourself or a loved one. If you’re interested in giving such a gift, Elpizo Counselling has experienced therapists and counsellors that are willing to work with you to get the best help, feel free to call 877-355-7496. 

If you are interested in listening to the full podcast and learning more about mental health and the therapy experience, click here.

The Truth About New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Eve has become more than just a holiday or a time to party for many of us. We look at it as not only a celebration of the past year, or in the case of 2020, a celebration that it is finally over, but also as a chance for a fresh start. So while we go into the new year with resolutions and the best of intentions to keep them, it doesn’t take most of us very long to give up. In fact, about 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. One possible explanation for this is that many people tend to be hoping for a quick fix instead of realistic, achievable, and lasting change, and therefore lack the necessary motivation and commitment to keep their resolutions. 

When making resolutions simply in the spirit of celebration without any real thought into what it takes to achieve them, the enthusiasm and effort felt at the beginning of the year begin to quickly wane. With our inevitable lack of progress towards achieving our resolutions, we soon end up reverting back to old habits. This can be very discouraging and lead many people to believe that they simply do not possess the necessary skills and abilities to achieve positive and lasting change, but maybe the reality is that most new year’s resolutions are flawed to begin with. By setting a specific future date to implement changes implies that we will only begin to make changes once that date arrives rather than doing it now, and there is simply no logic in that. All of us are works in progress so we should strive to implement change into our lives on a regular basis, not just once a year. 

So instead of making resolutions this new year, incorporate healthy behaviour into your everyday life by setting goals along with strategies for achieving them. The difference between a goal and a resolution is that a resolution is a decision to (not) do a specific behaviour while a goal is a series of planned out steps designed to help you achieve the end result you are aiming for. In this respect, creating specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely (SMART) goals, instead of new year’s resolutions, is the key to long-term success and growth. Below are some guidelines for how you change your life for the better starting today:

  • Decide and commit to making a change.
  • Start immediately, do not wait for new year’s day to come around. There is no better time than the present moment.
  • Set realistic goals and when necessary, break them down into smaller, more easily achievable goals. Once you start achieving these smaller goals, you will be motivated to keep moving towards your bigger, seemingly hard to reach goals.
  • Document what you want to achieve.
  • Have a strategy or system in place for achieving your goals and identify possible obstacles or areas for potential set-backs. Your enthusiasm and motivation may wane over time but you can mitigate their effect by having a plan in place to push through. 
  • Be as specific as possible when setting goals and make sure that they are specific, measurable, and have a deadline. 
  • Understand that true purpose of what you want to achieve.
  • Do not overshoot! Select the 1 or 2 goals that are most important to you and focus on them. Once you see that you are able to achieve these, you will be more motivated to continue setting goals and working towards improving your life – throughout the year. 
  • Adopt a mindset of absolute belief and faith that you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to.

Starting 2021 with no New Year’s resolutions can be a liberating experience of getting what you really want. By setting goals throughout the year, you are giving yourself permission to make incremental progress and enjoy the process instead of getting wrapped up in the outcomes. Small steps become enjoyable and you adopt a growth mindset instead of judging yourself for perceived failures. Real change comes when you know your desired outcome and commit to making your goals a reality. Get everything you want this year and every year, by deciding to set and achieve goals that truly matter to you.

References:

Why New Year’s resolutions fail
Don’t Make New Year’s Resolutions: Do This Instead

The Reason You Feel SAD During The Winter

The winter season is now upon us, which for some may mean a noticeable  change in our mood. With the sun setting early now and the cold weather taking over, it’s not uncommon to  experience a decrease in motivation and more frequent depressive episodes during this time.

The month of December shines light on Seasonal Affective Disorder, otherwise known as the acronym, “SAD”. This disorder is a type of depression that arises during the change in season. Most people who experience SAD feel their energy being depleted and lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. On the rare occasion, people may experience depression caused by SAD during the spring or early summer months too. 

Symptoms of SAD may include:

  • Feelings of depression as the winter season progresses
  • Low energy
  • Lack of sleep or oversleeping
  • Losing interest and motivation
  • Loss of appetite or weight loss/gain
  • Sluggish and anxious feelings 
  • Suicidal thoughts

The cause of SAD may be due to the reduced level of sunlight in the fall and winter months, a decrease in serotonin levels due to the lack of sunlight, and the body’s level of melatonin becoming disrupted.

If you experience severe symptoms of SAD and do not get treated, it can possibly lead to worse problems such as:

  • Problems at work or school
  • Substance Abuse 
  • Extreme suicidal thoughts or behaviour 
  • Other mental health disorders

Light therapy, medication and psychotherapy are options of treatment you may want to look into if you’re experiencing symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Of course it is normal to have some days of feeling down, but if you feel it an overwhelming amount of times and just can’t get yourself back to normal, you should highly consider seeing a doctor or counselling service. 

Elpizo Community Connect: Navigating The Holiday Season

The Holiday Season has arrived and it is going to be unlike any other. With COVID-19 still being a hot topic, many are opting to change from their traditional routine to a new one. 

Last week on Elpizo’s Community Connect, the team came together and discussed how to navigate this holiday season. If you don’t know what to do this holiday season you should definitely take a look! 

This is our last Community Connect for the year so if you’re interested in the other topics that we cover we recommend going over to our Youtube channel to watch our other Elpizo Community Connect sessions. 

Watch the workshop below and leave us a comment on how your navigating this holiday season!