Tag: Relationships

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Prepare for a lifetime of “I choose You Everyday”

Summer is here, and that means its wedding season! After a couple of years of isolation, we are all ready to kick up our heels and dance the night away to celebrate love with friends and families. I am always amazed at the time and effort that goes into planning these amazing celebrations of Love and Commitment. It makes me wonder though, how much of this planning goes into what happens the day after, or even the year after? Which is why I am a big fan of premarital counselling; specifically, how it gives you the tools to uncover the potential pitfalls facing all newlyweds.

An average wedding costs about $40,000 just for the day and takes 200-500 hours to plan. Depending on the couple, these numbers can fluctuate greatly. Couples planning their dream day will budget for the wedding attire, rings, flowers, decorations, transportation, food, drinks, banquet hall, entertainment, and honeymoon. Very few will budget for premarital counselling.

Couples may begin premarital counselling on someone’s suggestion, or because it was another item to check off on a long list of wedding-to-dos, often left to the last minute as a low priority. However, making premarital counselling intentional allows you to get more out of your marriage and perhaps prevent major challenges down the road. Premarital counselling prepares you for a realistic perspective on marital expectations, it is an investment into your marriage and your future.

Premarital Counselling sessions focus on areas such as marital expectations, communication, finances, conflict resolution, family and friends, children, parenting, blended families, personalities, spirituality, sexual expectation etc. These sessions can help you practice crucial relationship skills, so that you can be more aligned on major aspects of your relationship, creating a stronger foundation on which to begin your marriage. Couples are challenged to explore their values, greatest fears, speak their truth, be vulnerable with each other, and share parts of themselves that they might not have done during the romantic dating phases. An experienced therapist will support you, guide you, and even dig a little deeper and explore personal traumas that may affect the marital relationship. The aim is to get you started on a solid foundation.

This might be too much and even too personal, but isn’t that what you are getting into, a personal intimate relationship with each other? This journey can be fun filled, laughter inducing, serious, and even tearful at some stages. However, it looks, it is an absolute “must do” on the planning list.

At Elpizo, we offer twelve (12), 90-minute sessions to discuss the abovementioned topics, and to aid the couple in creating a marriage plan. Your investment: 12 weeks, 18 hours, and a financial investment of about $3,000-$4,000, which you claim back on your health insurance. The time to start a plan for your lifetime partnership is now. Prepare for a marriage of “I chose you, every day”. Be informed, be intentional, build a solid foundation, begin from a place of knowledge, transparency, and alignment in creating a successful marriage. Congratulations for taking this bold journey of premarital therapy. We look forward to seeing you!

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New Parenthood

For our second story from Elpizo Connect Magazine we introduce to you, New Parenthood.

Do you know that ole saying, “It takes a village to raise a child” well it’s not just an idiom. For new parents, parenthood is a whole new life and they need all the help that they can get. As a new parent, there are several changes you may notice such as you becoming more emotional than usual, getting mommy memory, physical and mental alterations, and your social relationship being tested.

More Emotions

Once you welcome your newborn baby in the world, it’s almost as if nothing else matters. Your brain begins to work overtime on your emotions as you notice your over-zealousness of the safety and concern of your new child. Your body releases hormones like hypothalamus which bonds you with your newborn and dopamine which is that pleasurable feeling of you enjoying parenthood.

Mommy Memory

What’s that? You misplace the breast pump for the 100th time, well sounds like you’ve got mommy brain. Some may say this as an excuse for being forgetful but this condition is covered by science. Caring for a newborn baby that does not know if they want to sleep, poo, or eat combined with sleep deprivation will no doubt lead to long-term effects on the brain.

Physical and Mental Changes

Recovering after giving birth is quite a quest. You mean to tell me after 9 months of carrying this baby, I still cannot have a glass of wine just yet?! After giving birth you do not get your life back immediately. You may have weighed 20 pounds less before the baby or remarkably got rid of all the weight, every woman is different and you should not force yourself to bounce back. An entire human just vacated your body and your first thought is to run to the gym? Do not let social media or others cloud your judgment and lower your self-esteem on what a new mom should look like, enjoy your new baby. You should take your time and lose the weight, whichever is best for you.

Social Relationships

Everyone loves a new baby. They smell like baby powder and milk and they have the chubbiest feet ever! You will notice friends and family coming over with gifts and offering help in any way that they can. However, not everyone’s experience is the same. You may notice friends that all of a sudden have no time for you and your baby but were around 24/7 before. Not to mention, co-parents that made high promises of always being there for you and your child suddenly unable to fulfill those promises. It is very important to have a good support system when you welcome a new baby into the world. Newborns are not a walk in the park and need all the care they can get, that’s why it’s important to have a village.

You can read more about parenting and mental health in our first issue of Elpizo Connect Magazine.

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[FREE DOWNLOAD] Tips to unlocking the passion in your marriage during this season

Spending time with extended family may be important during the holiday but what is most important to some is to spend time with the loved one that they live with. With 2020 coming to a close many have spent months together with their spouse which could lead to many losing their passion in their relationship because of the lack of separation from one another. Luckily, if you feel like your relationship needs a little spark going into the new year, Elpizo has created Tips To Unlocking The Passion In Your Marriage During This Season downloadable PDF. 

This document will go over plenty of tips to spark passion into your marriage, such as: 

  • – Examples of fun activities you and your spouse can do over the break 
  • – COVID-19 activities you and your partner can engage in
  • – Explaining how “influence” can be beneficial in your relationship and much more!

Read the full document, Tips To Unlocking The Passion In Your Marriage During This Season, by clicking the cover below. 

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[FREE DOWNLOAD] Post-Holiday Blues: Dealing With The Aftermath of the Holidays

Even though the Holiday Season may be enjoyed for some, a lot of the time for others it is the other way around. For some people, they might not have any holidays at all and have to work while others get a break from work. Some folks might experience anxiety from seeing family or during current times seeing family during a pandemic. When the holidays are over mixed emotions will have to be dealt with, and Elpizo has created tools to help you deal with the holiday aftermath. 

Some tools that we go over are things like how to deal with changes in a healthy way when the holidays come to close. One of these ways is by using coping strategies to help sudden shifts, whether good or bad. 

Another tool that we go over is how to plan for those post-holiday blues. One tip that we give in planning is to “Reach Out” which has you reaching out to talk to a mental health professional. You can do this now by calling Elpizo Counselling Services at 1-877-335-7496. 

To read the tip list on how to deal with the aftermath of the holidays, click the cover below.

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Looking Back: November with Elpizo

Elpizo Counselling Services observed November as Domestic Violence Awareness Month. 

Domestic Violence occurs when one person in a relationship tries to intimidate and control their partner through fear, guilt, shame or power.

 On November 10 2020, Elpizo Counselling hosted a virtual panel discussion for Domestic Violence Awareness. The event was free to join and was hosted on Facebook/Instagram Live from 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm EST.

Watch the panel discussion here:

Elpizo’s client-centred practice provides a non-judgmental and safe space for people to process crises, trauma, challenges and to rebound from adverse experiences. Furthermore, Elpizo is making every effort to raiseawareness about abuse against women and also hosted a discussion on November 25 to mark the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.

For more information, visit us on https://elpizocounselling.com/

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How International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women Came To Be

November 25th is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and people around the world will come together to commemorate and address this issue on a global scale. 

The day was first recognized in 1999 when the United Nations General Assembly passed the resolution, introduced by the Dominican Republic, designating November 25th as International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. However, the United Nations (UN) was not the first to do this. Women in Latin America and the Caribbean have been honouring the day since 1981. The reason for the day was to mark the anniversary of three women political activists who were assassinated in the Dominican Republic on November 25th 1960 for opposing the regime of dictator Rafael Trujillo. 

The UN officially recognized the date on February 7th 2000, and the United Nations General Assembly encouraged organizations around the world to raise awareness yearly on the date. 

Unlike an illness or disease which groups of people have no control over, ending violence against women is a movement that everyone can bring awareness to. Tragedies like the 1989 École Polytechnique Massacre, where a man killed 14 women in a Montreal university should never happen. As a society, we should bring awareness and support initiatives such as The Spotlight Initiative, so history doesn’t repeat itself. 

Elpizo offers a wide range of services for women who have recently or in their past experienced violence and sexual violence. We provide comprehensive counselling and therapy solutions such as Rapid Resolution Therapy that will eliminate emotional and behavioural difficulties. These options are offered online and in-person, and with all our therapeutic options, we work with you to make sure you get the treatment you need.

The 16 Days of Activism against gender-based violence is an international campaign that takes place every year. It runs from November 25, which is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, to December 10th, Human Rights Day.

Launched in 2008, the UNiTE Campaign aims to prevent and eliminate violence against women and girls around the world. This is done by calling on governments, civil society, women’s organizations, young people, the private sector, the media and the entire UN system to join forces in addressing and fighting against the global pandemic of violence against women and girls. 

COVID-19, the quarantine, lockdowns, and social isolation have negatively influenced mental health and increased risks of family violence and conflict. It is a critical time for women being affected by gender-based violence. 

From November 25 to December 10, the UN’s System’s 16-Day Activism against gender-based violence is taking place under the 2020 global theme: “ Orange the World: Fund, Respond, Prevent, Collect!”

The main principles of the UNiTE Campaign Advocacy are:

  1. Honour and acknowledge women’s movements
  2. ‘Leave no one behind’
  3. Survivor-centered
  4. Multi-sectoral
  5. Transformative
  6. Elevate the voices of young feminists
  7. The colour orange continues to be a key tool; unifying all activities

In order to support and be a part of the change, join UNiTE on The 16 Days of Activism and help speak out, unite with partners around the world, reflect on what we can all do in our own communities to eliminate violence faced by young girls, women, and the LGBTQ2 community. Start conversations on social media and become an ally by listening, believing, speaking out, intervening, and acting on what is going on and how you can help.

If you would like to learn more about International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and current UN efforts to fight violence against women, click here.

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Safety Planning for Victims of Domestic Abuse

It might seem overwhelming to prepare a safety plan when you wish to leave an abusive relationship. Here are some tips for those who are thinking about starting their path to a safer place: 

  • If it is safe to do so, always have a phone accessible and know what numbers to call for help, including friends or family and your local shelter. Know where the nearest public phone is located. 
  • Plan and practice with your children and identify a safe place where they can go during moments of crisis, like a room with a lock or a friend’s house.  
  • Back your car into your driveway when you park at home and ensure your gas is at a full tank. If possible, keep the driver’s door unlocked with the rest of the doors locked to allow for quick access to the vehicle. 
  • Let trusted friends and neighbors know about your situation and develop a plan and visual signal for when you might need their help. Give them clear instructions on who you do or do not want them to contact in moments of crisis, including law enforcement. 
  • When preparing to go to a shelter, if you can, call ahead to see what the shelter’s policies are. They can give you information on how they can help, and how to secure a space when it’s time to leave. 
  • Have a backup plan if your partner finds out about your plan. 
  • What to bring:  
    • Driver’s license or Ontario Photo Card 
    • Social insurance card 
    • Health card 
    • Birth certificate and children’s birth certificates 
    • Financial information 
    • Money and/or credit cards (in your name) 
    • Checking and/or savings account books 
    • Protective order, if applicable 
    • Copies of any lease or rental agreements or the deed to your home 
    • Car registration and insurance papers 
    • Health and life insurance papers 
    • Medical records for you and your children 
    • School records 
    • Work permits/passport/visas/immigration papers 
    • Any legal documents, including divorce and custody papers 
    • Marriage license 
    • Medications and refills (if possible) 
    • Emergency items, like food, bottles of water, and a first aid kit 
    • Multiple changes of clothes for you and your children 
    • Emergency money 
    • Address book 
    • Extra sets of house and car keys 
    • Pictures and sentimental items 
    • Valuable items, such as jewelry 
    • Safe cell phone, if necessary 
    • Numbers of your attorney, local domestic violence program or shelter, local doctor’s office and hospital, criminal legal resources, children’s school

You might want to consider keeping copies of these items at a friend’s place so it won’t raise suspicion if found by your abuser and in case your abuser decides to destroy these items as they may anticipate your plan to escape.

 No matter the severity of your situation, just know that you are not overreacting or being drastic. Signs of abuse can begin to show up in small ways, so it’s important to be mindful, watchful and prepared at all costs. You are not alone. There is a world of support to help and encourage you through your circumstance.

For more information, please visit the Government of Canada website at: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-family-violence/plan-your-safety.html