ECC Group Blog: Key Takeaways From Our Session of Grief & Loss

Our Grief & Loss Sessions were sold out, but we wanted to provide a summary of the key takeaways for those who were not able to attend. We recognize why this is currently our most popular session right now with COVID-19, and it’s why we started our Community Connect program in the first place. The amount of grief and loss people are experiencing is definitely overwhelming, so we hope this blog can be a way for you to still gain valuable experience from our important sessions. 

This blog helps define grief and what it may look like for individuals during this pandemic, and provides some useful tips on how one can manage their grief or loss. Let’s get started!

The first thing to understand about grief is that it’s a response to loss. We often associate grief primarily to the loss of a loved one, however, it can be triggered by any loss of something that is meaningful to an individual, such as a relationship, a job, loss of health, loss of environment due to a move. This global pandemic has especially impacted individuals with unexpected losses that were meaningful to one’s life. It’s okay to still be grieving this type of loss. 

Grief is a highly individual experience and as such, the process and the ways to cope must also be individual. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, however, there are some helpful ways to deal with grief. Certain ways will resonate more with some than others. It’s about implementing those you feel will help you through the process. 

Here are six helpful tips on how to manage your grief and loss: 

  • Be kind to yourself and acknowledge your pain. There is no time limit on this but things do get better. 
  • Know that you are not alone. The people who care about you want to be there and help.  They may not know how. Tell them. 
  • Understand that many different and sometimes unexpected emotions will emerge during your grief journey. Accept these as they are a healthy part of the process. 
  • Continue to take care of yourself physically. A healthy body is better equipped to deal with emotional upset. 
  • Engage in spiritual activities and draw support from your faith.
  • Seek out ways to honour that which you are grieving.  For example, if you’ve lost a loved one, write them a love letter. If you’ve lost your job, write in a journal what you loved about it and what you hope for your next job. 

While this may not be the virtual session you were wanting to attend, we hope this blog can still provide you with some important insights and understandings on these difficult emotions that so many people are experiencing right now. This blog is a great starter point, and you can always book an individual session with one of our professionals to manage your grief and loss. We are still offering lots of dates for our Beyond the Blues and Stress Balance sessions, so be sure to register in advance to reserve your spot!

Valentine’s Day Tips for Couples & Singles

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, which means you may be feeling some pressure to make the day memorable or work on improving your relationship this month. If you are single, you may be feeling extra lonely without as much connection and interactions with the people you care about in your daily life. With this global pandemic, we know how much our individual and partner relationships may be struggling with these challenges. Trying to balance these feelings around the holiday dedicated to appreciating your relationship or yourself may be hard, but we have some tips we want to share to help aid the overwhelming feelings so you can focus on growing whether you are in a relationship or single! 

For The Singles

First, here are the five best things about being single right now: 

  1. Opportunity to know yourself, recognize your personal strengths and celebrate your independence.
  2. Time and freedom to accomplish the things in life you want without having to consider someone else’s schedule, hopes and dreams.  Use it wisely. 
  3. The positive outlook that you still have the opportunity to choose your mate. The world is your love oyster. 
  4. You can cultivate your friendships and build these to have life-long lasting power. 
  5. You learn to love yourself first and only then can you love someone else and receive their love effectively. 

February is a great time to learn about love languages, whether you are with someone or working on improving yourself! 

Do you ever think about how you show love and how you like to receive love? Most people show their love and affection for their partner in the same way they like to receive it as we make an inherent assumption that everybody wants to be shown love in the same way we do. In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman (2015) identified five key ways that people like to be shown love. Take this love languages quiz and ask your partner to do the same! You can share the quiz with your friends or family if you are currently single to feel more connected during the holiday Discuss your results so that each of you knows how best to show your love for the other!

And remember…hold on when you get love, and let go when you give it (Millan, Seligman, Cranley, McGee, Campbell, 2012). 

For The Couples

This pandemic has definitely changed the way quality time can be spent with a person. This Valentine’s Day is no different, but we have some tips that may help spark some inspiration and ease on how to connect with your partner and grow in your new situations! 

Here are some tips for relationships struggling with distance:

  • Plan a romantic phone call or video chat with your favourite dessert and drink nearby 
  • Share three things you love and appreciate about your significant other 
  • Talk about something you both would be excited to do once you reunite 
  • Share your favourite memory together 
  • Let them know you miss them, and that you can’t wait to see them when it’s safe to do so!

Here are some tips for relationships struggling with being in close proximity: 

  • Plan a relaxing alone time activity for your significant other to show your appreciation 
  • This could be a candlelit bath, grabbing them their favourite book and meal, or giving them time to wind down in the comfiest part of your living area 
  • You can find a way to get out of your space by spending time outside together on a walk, in the park or supporting any local spots that are open right now
  • Doing this small gesture of allowing them to relax and recharge with their favourite things is an excellent way to show you care and love them! 

Resolving Conflict

Do you fight with your partner to win? Or do you fight to seek understanding and resolve the issue?  

When someone is addressing a problem, it can be easy to hear the language they are using as a direct attack or criticism. In those moments, we often stop hearing what they are saying and jump into “defensive” mode whereby we’re formulating our response in our head and not listening. Our defensive mode can additionally lead to offensive responses all of which creates a negative communication cycle. Nobody feels heard or understood, leading to added frustration and no resolution.  

Effective conflict resolution begins with effective communication. We must listen to each other attentively, ensure we’ve understood correctly, and respond with honesty and kindness. Doing so will allow each other to be vulnerable in a safe environment where collaboration can occur to resolve the issue.

“Communication leads to understanding leads to collaboration.”  (L. B. Pearson). 

It can be easy to get caught up in the issues, anxieties and pressures of Valentine’s Day whether you are in a relationship or single. However, during this global pandemic, the most important test has demonstrated that showing love and care for your partner or yourself is what matters most! Prioritizing these relationships right now might seem daunting, but it’s more manageable than you think, and it can start with something as simple as these tips we’ve laid out! 

ECC Group Blog: The Value In Group Support Meetings

Every person can benefit from some form of support in their lives, but a lot of people lose out on the opportunity by not knowing the full potential and values that come along with taking that first step. 

At Elpizo Counselling Services, our Community Connect virtual programs are dedicated to providing accessible services that can bring comfort and ease to any person, and more importantly, add value to overall well being. Group support meetings are the perfect way to introduce a no strings attached method of seeking help and relief for tons of issues that are more common than you think! 

Here are 5 valuable reasons to consider trying one of our support groups:

  • Group atmosphere is laid back, comfortable and a no pressure commitment 
  • Connect, listen, and exchange with others who are experiencing the same struggles 
  • Free opportunity to test out counselling services and methods 
  • No anxiety or fear of sharing your struggles with people in your personal life 
  • Judgement free zone with realistic and manageable ways to incorporate support

Our support groups are relevant and applicable to all kinds of situations, homes and lives that have been negatively disrupted by COVID-19. The goal of these sessions is to provide guidance and support during these uncertain times and to demonstrate how harmless it is to seek and find the help you need. 

There is so much to gain from our Community Connect support groups than just these 5 reasons. Just know that whatever struggle you are going through matters, and that you aren’t alone. 
Take that first step in seeking support by checking out our Stress Balance and Beyond the Blues Community Connect sessions happening throughout February and March!

Keeping Fit – It’s Not Only Physical

It is natural for feelings of anxiety to increase during this challenging time – no-one likes uncertainty.  Fitness and self-care is important at the best of times, so it becomes even more important when we are under higher than normal levels of stress.

Here’s some things that might help:

  • Create a list of things that make you feel good and keep it handy.  Sometimes it’s hard to think of ideas in the moment.
  • Put together a ‘coping box’ that addresses all of your senses, it may include things like: a scented candle, some chocolate or herbal tea, some calming music, something soft and cuddly, photos of loved ones… Then it will be ready for whenever you need it.
  • Share self-care/keep fit ideas with friends and family, or your Facebook groups and social networks; someone may have a great idea that you haven’t thought of.
  • Keep a gratitude journal.  There are always things to be grateful for, even if it is just the smell of bread baking (which is all the rage in quarantine I hear).

Do you have ideas and suggestions you’d like to share?  Please add them in the comments below.  You may just help someone find a new joy.

Podcast: Understanding Mental Health With Ruth Baah-Gyebi

Earlier this month our very own Ruth Bahh-Gyebi was welcomed onto the The Good Health Cafe podcast hosted by Nikita Boston-Fisher to talk about how COVID-19 has impacted mental health, how to offer support and what the therapy experience is like. 

The Good Health Cafe podcast’s goal is to give you tips on how to navigate the healthcare system and easily understand other matters of public health. As we know, the healthcare systems and public health can be pretty confusing with different terminology used and The Good Health Cafe podcast aims to bridge that gap.

In an interview before the podcast, Gyebi and Fisher discussed how to prioritize your mental health during the pandemic. Below are some fantastic tips that Gyebi gave to help your mental health this year, that you can try while stuck at home during the lockdown. 

  • Try new things – candle making, arts and crafts from the dollar store and podcasting are all things that I tried for the first time this year.
  • Take breaks – take a pause to go for a walk. If you have some vacation time, use it. Do what you can to give yourself a chance to rest and recharge.
  • Reconnect with old friends and make new ones – call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while to see how they are doing.

Gyebi also gave a couple of great tips you can try out for the current holiday season. One of those great tips is to gift a visit to a mental health professional to yourself or a loved one. If you’re interested in giving such a gift, Elpizo Counselling has experienced therapists and counsellors that are willing to work with you to get the best help, feel free to call 877-355-7496. 

If you are interested in listening to the full podcast and learning more about mental health and the therapy experience, click here.

The Truth About New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Eve has become more than just a holiday or a time to party for many of us. We look at it as not only a celebration of the past year, or in the case of 2020, a celebration that it is finally over, but also as a chance for a fresh start. So while we go into the new year with resolutions and the best of intentions to keep them, it doesn’t take most of us very long to give up. In fact, about 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. One possible explanation for this is that many people tend to be hoping for a quick fix instead of realistic, achievable, and lasting change, and therefore lack the necessary motivation and commitment to keep their resolutions. 

When making resolutions simply in the spirit of celebration without any real thought into what it takes to achieve them, the enthusiasm and effort felt at the beginning of the year begin to quickly wane. With our inevitable lack of progress towards achieving our resolutions, we soon end up reverting back to old habits. This can be very discouraging and lead many people to believe that they simply do not possess the necessary skills and abilities to achieve positive and lasting change, but maybe the reality is that most new year’s resolutions are flawed to begin with. By setting a specific future date to implement changes implies that we will only begin to make changes once that date arrives rather than doing it now, and there is simply no logic in that. All of us are works in progress so we should strive to implement change into our lives on a regular basis, not just once a year. 

So instead of making resolutions this new year, incorporate healthy behaviour into your everyday life by setting goals along with strategies for achieving them. The difference between a goal and a resolution is that a resolution is a decision to (not) do a specific behaviour while a goal is a series of planned out steps designed to help you achieve the end result you are aiming for. In this respect, creating specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely (SMART) goals, instead of new year’s resolutions, is the key to long-term success and growth. Below are some guidelines for how you change your life for the better starting today:

  • Decide and commit to making a change.
  • Start immediately, do not wait for new year’s day to come around. There is no better time than the present moment.
  • Set realistic goals and when necessary, break them down into smaller, more easily achievable goals. Once you start achieving these smaller goals, you will be motivated to keep moving towards your bigger, seemingly hard to reach goals.
  • Document what you want to achieve.
  • Have a strategy or system in place for achieving your goals and identify possible obstacles or areas for potential set-backs. Your enthusiasm and motivation may wane over time but you can mitigate their effect by having a plan in place to push through. 
  • Be as specific as possible when setting goals and make sure that they are specific, measurable, and have a deadline. 
  • Understand that true purpose of what you want to achieve.
  • Do not overshoot! Select the 1 or 2 goals that are most important to you and focus on them. Once you see that you are able to achieve these, you will be more motivated to continue setting goals and working towards improving your life – throughout the year. 
  • Adopt a mindset of absolute belief and faith that you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to.

Starting 2021 with no New Year’s resolutions can be a liberating experience of getting what you really want. By setting goals throughout the year, you are giving yourself permission to make incremental progress and enjoy the process instead of getting wrapped up in the outcomes. Small steps become enjoyable and you adopt a growth mindset instead of judging yourself for perceived failures. Real change comes when you know your desired outcome and commit to making your goals a reality. Get everything you want this year and every year, by deciding to set and achieve goals that truly matter to you.

References:

Why New Year’s resolutions fail
Don’t Make New Year’s Resolutions: Do This Instead

The Reason You Feel “SAD” During The Winter

The winter season is now upon us, which for some may mean a noticeable  change in our mood. With the sun setting early now and the cold weather taking over, it’s not uncommon to  experience a decrease in motivation and more frequent depressive episodes during this time.

The month of December shines light on Seasonal Affective Disorder, otherwise known as the acronym, “SAD”. This disorder is a type of depression that arises during the change in season. Most people who experience SAD feel their energy being depleted and lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. On the rare occasion, people may experience depression caused by SAD during the spring or early summer months too. 

Symptoms of SAD may include:

  • Feelings of depression as the winter season progresses
  • Low energy
  • Lack of sleep or oversleeping
  • Losing interest and motivation
  • Loss of appetite or weight loss/gain
  • Sluggish and anxious feelings 
  • Suicidal thoughts

The cause of SAD may be due to the reduced level of sunlight in the fall and winter months, a decrease in serotonin levels due to the lack of sunlight, and the body’s level of melatonin becoming disrupted.

If you experience severe symptoms of SAD and do not get treated, it can possibly lead to worse problems such as:

  • Problems at work or school
  • Substance Abuse 
  • Extreme suicidal thoughts or behaviour 
  • Other mental health disorders

Light therapy, medication and psychotherapy are options of treatment you may want to look into if you’re experiencing symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Of course it is normal to have some days of feeling down, but if you feel it an overwhelming amount of times and just can’t get yourself back to normal, you should highly consider seeing a doctor or counselling service. 

Elpizo Community Connect: Navigating The Holiday Season

The Holiday Season has arrived and it is going to be unlike any other. With COVID-19 still being a hot topic, many are opting to change from their traditional routine to a new one. 

Last week on Elpizo’s Community Connect, the team came together and discussed how to navigate this holiday season. If you don’t know what to do this holiday season you should definitely take a look! 

This is our last Community Connect for the year so if you’re interested in the other topics that we cover we recommend going over to our Youtube channel to watch our other Elpizo Community Connect sessions. 

Watch the workshop below and leave us a comment on how your navigating this holiday season! 

[FREE DOWNLOAD] Tips to unlocking the passion in your marriage during this season

Spending time with extended family may be important during the holiday but what is most important to some is to spend time with the loved one that they live with. With 2020 coming to a close many have spent months together with their spouse which could lead to many losing their passion in their relationship because of the lack of separation from one another. Luckily, if you feel like your relationship needs a little spark going into the new year, Elpizo has created Tips To Unlocking The Passion In Your Marriage During This Season downloadable PDF. 

This document will go over plenty of tips to spark passion into your marriage, such as: 

  • – Examples of fun activities you and your spouse can do over the break 
  • – COVID-19 activities you and your partner can engage in
  • – Explaining how “influence” can be beneficial in your relationship and much more!

Read the full document, Tips To Unlocking The Passion In Your Marriage During This Season, by clicking the cover below. 

[FREE DOWNLOAD] Post-Holiday Blues: Dealing With The Aftermath of the Holidays

Even though the Holiday Season may be enjoyed for some, a lot of the time for others it is the other way around. For some people, they might not have any holidays at all and have to work while others get a break from work. Some folks might experience anxiety from seeing family or during current times seeing family during a pandemic. When the holidays are over mixed emotions will have to be dealt with, and Elpizo has created tools to help you deal with the holiday aftermath. 

Some tools that we go over are things like how to deal with changes in a healthy way when the holidays come to close. One of these ways is by using coping strategies to help sudden shifts, whether good or bad. 

Another tool that we go over is how to plan for those post-holiday blues. One tip that we give in planning is to “Reach Out” which has you reaching out to talk to a mental health professional. You can do this now by calling Elpizo Counselling Services at 1-877-335-7496. 

To read the tip list on how to deal with the aftermath of the holidays, click the cover below.